42,000 Words

Before I start, I want to draw everyone's attention to the link that Manta posted on an excerpt a few days ago. I completely forgot about this glorious comic that she posted a while ago (Manta used to have a web comic called "More Than This Provincial Life," that documented her Montreal adventures. My life has gotten worse since she stopped it). Here is part of it, but the link to the full comic is here. You will understand it more if you have seen the movie, but it's still amazing on its own. Thanks, Manta!

I'm in Montreal right now, loving all of your excerpts/comments and enjoying a writing session in Starbucks. My novel has kind of turned into a critique of Stephenie Meyer, but whatever. I'm comfortable with that. I'm less comfortable with the fact that my novel is a little too similar to "How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days." Kate Hudson's character worked at a fashion magazine, and tried in vain to put in some more intellectual pieces. The difference, however, is that my character wants to change the perception of readers, as she thinks that they are smart. Kate's character didn't really believe that, I suppose, and she ended up leaving the magazine. She also seemed to care a lot about peace in Tajikistan, but this was really only mentioned once or twice.

Here's a continuation of the scene I posted yesterday:

“I know—and it will only be worse when they release the movie. I hear that Lea Michele is playing Darcie, and Cody Simpson will be Damien. Does anyone know who that is, anyway?”

“No, not me,” Olivia said, probably a little too quickly. “IyIyIy—I mean I—wouldn’t know anything about him. What did you say about jorts? Cody who?”

“Anyway,” Atoosa continued awkwardly. “Here’s an excerpt to get you started.”

"How could you do this, Damien? Don't you remember those beautiful nights in the cabin when you were protecting me?" Darcie murmured.



"Brains..." Damien also murmured.



Damien's glistening lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfectly hideous statue, carved in some unknown stone, covered in blood and gray matter, glittering like crystal.

As Atoosa read, she looked like she would rather read the phone book in various accents and dialects than this. No one blamed her for the sour look that was displayed on her face. It was certainly reflected back to her; everyone that was still in the board room who had not run out at the mention of spoilers, looked completely disgusted. Not unlike how I imagine one might look if a chipmunk farted in their face.

“Why is everyone murmuring?” one of the editors, Ruby, sighed. “How does anyone have any conversations at all, when they are all at such a low volume? Speak up, damn it! I don’t care if you’re dead!”

“With dialogue that poor, they might as well murmur,” Prudence, their fashion photographer, lamented.

“I know how I can tie this in with my other sections,” Olivia offered. “I can have a special section on embarrassing moments when reading Stephenie Meyer novels. I’m sure that every moment of reading her bastardization of literature is an embarrassing one.”

“While I can appreciate that, Olivia, but you will probably need to read the book and give it a very good review. It’s what our readers will want,” Atoosa affirmed.

Olivia could feel it coming on; another spell where she would inadvisably speak up and probably get herself fired. She had done this before, where her self-righteous anger could carry her away like a tornado (or Alejandro Puyol’s hair). When had that ever worked out, though? She was angry and frustrated, yes, but this time, she chose to control herself. This was something that mattered to her, and she didn’t want to mess it up by acting like an asshole.

“Is it really, Atoosa?” Olivia asked. “I’m not sure what proportion of our readers are fans of Stephenie Meyer’s ‘novels’” and yes, she did use air quotes for that one, “but isn’t it possible that the people who like the novels do so somewhat critically? It’s possible to like something and enjoy something while still seeing what’s wrong with it? Some people may always love Meyer’s ‘work,’ but perhaps others have not been exposed to any kind of sensible critique?”

Atoosa was silent for a few seconds, and they seemed to drag on forever. She seemed to be considering Olivia’s ideas; or at least Olivia hoped that she was. Perhaps she was simply considering Olivia, and re-thinking everything that she had ever thought about her.

“So what is it that you’re proposing?” she finally asked.

“Well, what if we were to publish a review of the book that asked some important questions that a lot of readers may not have considered? For example, why is it that Meyer seems to think that it’s so romantic that Damien Silver wanted to kill Darcie? What could Darcie have done to make herself safer in an abusive relationship? What was the role of the witch in the novel, and what exactly did Meyer mean when she made the witch overly critical of women’s traditional choices?”

“You do understand that any loyal Stephenie Meyer fan would stop reading our magazine, right? It would be suicide for the magazine. I appreciate what you’re saying, and I don’t like that we need to publish articles like this either, but I don’t see what choice we have. The advertisers certainly wouldn’t go along with it. Girls thinking critically about what they read might lead to them thinking critically about what they buy, and if they really need all of they really need all of those products in the first place. I admire your ideas, but I’m sorry. Globetrotting Gurlz just isn’t that kind of magazine.”

Olivia felt discouraged, and might have wished that she hadn’t spoken up at all if Atoosa really did seem so sorry. This encouraged Olivia more than anything else. She could hardly expect to completely change the magazine in one day; but if she could plant some seeds in the minds of her co-workers, they might one day agree with her that those changes need to be made.

Even though it went against every way she had ever lived her life, she decided to start small. She owed it to herself to try.


She then starts working on an essay that she hopes to publish in GT Gurlz, that is critical of the book, but in a more subtle way. She runs into Darcy when she's working on it, and she explains what she's doing. They are on friendly terms now, and Olivia is re-thinking everything that she ever thought about him. They're moving closer and closer to the glorious ending when they'll fall in loooovvveeeeee.