I had a lot of fun writing today! In fact, I had trouble deciding which part I most want to showcase on my blog, so I decided to showcase a huge chunk of it. I'm not really advancing the plot too far, but it feels good to enjoy myself again!
Penny Lane
and Alejandro ran out of the office and down the long, boring corridor. They flew down the stairs two at a time
and hit the streets running. It
just wasn’t going to be Penny Lane’s day, apparently, because she ran directly
into a man who was wearing a Tie Domi Toronto Maple Leafs jersey. She hadn’t seen the men on the other
side of the door, but she knew that he was one of them. She bounced off of him and landed on
her butt on the ground painfully.
He seemed somewhat surprised that a small woman had just rebounded off
of him onto the sidewalk. Penny
Lane watched as his face changed from surprised to apologetic to enraged. It took about twenty seconds, probably a
little longer than you might think it would.
The man
behind him turned out to be someone that she did recognize. Well, calling him a man might be a bit
of a stretch. He had medium-length
hair that was messily swept up on top in what one might describe as a
particularly robust faux-hawk, but someone could probably make a reasonable
argument against calling it that.
He was wearing Maple Leafs blue warm-up jacket that had a white stripe
across the front and a Leafs logo above his heart (where it belongs) and
matching blue tearaways. His shoes
were made to look like hockey skates but without the blades, obviously, because
that would be annoying to walk around in.
He appeared to be trying to teach the others some dance moves so that
they could move around as a dance pack, but they seemed completely
uninterested. She heard him mutter
something about how they should “never say never.”
Yes, she
knew, it was the one and only Justin Bieber. He must have been one of the “Five For Fighting” hockey
hooligans, but probably one of the younger ones without any power in the
organization that everyone liked to push around.
The first man
tapped him on the shoulder wordlessly to get his attention. Bieber stopped dancing for a moment to
look on the ground, and his eyes became wide.
“Hey,
everyone, it’s that To(Ron)to(!) writer lady!” he said, getting the attention
of the group. Penny Lane noted
that he did not use his hands to signify that he was using brackets, which irked
her. As they all turned and began
to circle around Penny Lane and Alejandro, she knew that she had never been
more afraid in her life. This was
definitely going to take the number one spot, above that time that she was
forced to listen to a children’s choir perform a particularly disturbing
version of “Funky Town” (number two), the time that she had watched “The Ring”
by herself in her room with a television (number three), the moment when she
realized that Zehr’s would no longer sell her favourite brand of Triscuits
because it had been discontinued (number four), and when she had looked Emilio
Estevez up on IMDB.com and she had realized how ugly he has gotten since his
glory days in the Brat Pack (number five).
“Come on!”
Alejandro said as he grabbed her arm and pulled her up. “We clearly have to get out of here!”
Penny Lane
agreed, and since she had made a mental list in her head of the five most
terrifying moments that she had experienced in her life, and concluded that
this event took the number one spot, she felt ready to move on. She had always said that she was a
bitch that got a plan, and a walka not a talka, but right now, she had to be a
runna.
“I’mma
shake these haters off,” she told Alejandro. “Straight business start
takin’ charge. When
I’mma talk it, I’mma walk it. Back
it up and keep it rockin.’’”
“No one, don’t get involved. Gotta boss up, bitch, if you want it all,” Alejandro
said in agreement.
They dashed
through the streets of Toronto, with Five For Fighting in hot pursuit behind them. If Penny Lane had turned around (which
she couldn’t, obviously), she would have noticed that Bieber was falling behind
because he was insisting on dancing as he moved. He may not have been winning any races, unless those races
were based on style and dancing ability, in which case he would be winning any
race on earth.
Penny Lane’s
father may not have been a particularly effective person when it came to cleaning up, since he mostly would hold
things up and ask whose it was, but when it came to moving through crowds,
there was no one better. She
darted through the crowds expertly, putting more and more distance between her,
Alejandro, and the hockey goons.
She was practically dragging Alejandro behind her, since he apparently
did not have a father that would regularly leave him behind as he darted
between human traffic.
“I have a
great idea,” Alejandro said as he pulled her to the side and into a shop that
appeared to be called “IyIyIy Am Wearing You”. They quickly threw on some clothes (a red fitted hoodie, a
graphic tee and expensive-looking acid-washed jorts for Penny Lane, a faded
jean jacket with a black t-shirt and white jeans for Alejandro). They posed as mannequins in the store
front rather than hiding in the back room, because that is obviously a better
way to evade anyone who is chasing after you. Penny Lane was posed holding a prop cell phone as if she was
texting someone. Presumably she
was texting someone that she loves, as “143,” accompanied by a winking
emoticon, had been drawn on the screen in black Sharpie. Alejandro was sitting beside her on a
black cruiser bike.
Unsurprisingly, the plan worked like a charm. Five For Fighting ran past them without looking back, and
Penny Lane and Alejandro managed to look incredibly cool in the process. They nodded at each other with their
eyes narrowed in approval.
“What are you
two doing?” they heard an Australian accented voice ask. As they turned to face the voice they
were greeted by a boy with short and curly blonde hair who must have been about
ten years old from the looks of him.
Alejandro was
pretty quick on his feet in more ways than one. First, he quickly got off of the bike and onto his
feet. Second, he responded without
delay, “Didn’t you book two live models for today? If Roberto mixed up the schedule I am going to be so mad.”
“I don’t
remember doing that,” the youthful boy said as he scratched his shaggy blonde
hair, looking puzzled.
“I’ll go
check,” Alejandro said, grabbing Penny Lane’s arm and forcefully pulling her
behind him. She was pleased that
she had drunk her milk that morning; otherwise the force that Alejandro used to
tug her arm (and the Bone Breaking Punkers, obviously) might have broken
it.
Penny Lane
checked the cell phone with “143 ;)” written on it and informed the small lad
that they had in fact gotten their stores mixed up. They apologized and left, but not before stopping to buy the
outfits because they looked really cool in them. Particularly the acid-washed jorts.
| Penny Lane |
| Alejandro |
By the way, I had never planned on Justin Bieber making his way into my story. I just put that picture up because I thought that it was funny. Thanks for the inspiration, Indigo!
Ok, this was pure gold. I still laugh every time you mention Five For Fighting. Then, you went and threw in some Walka not a Talka lyrics, some Cody Simpson references, and people hiding in a storefront window dressed as mannequins. Plus some dad jokes.
ReplyDeleteWHAT IS THE POINT OF LIFE IF I DIDN'T WRITE THIS. I give up. You win.
This was clearly amazing. Justin Bieber as a member of Five for Fighting, the use of Walka not a Talka lyrics as dialogue, Cody Simpson, Bone Breaking Punkers.... all so great. I also really love the mental lists that Penny Lane creates all the time, always so, so funny. I am back at work and needed a laugh, and this excerpt provided that. In spades.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I am speechless. Except for this: Every single sentence was my favourite. This is the best excerpt you have ever written. And that's saying something.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Jill the lists completely make my day. I vote that she makes many more mental lists often distracting her from an important conversation to disasterous effect.
ReplyDeleteI love that Justin Bieber was the character that wrote himself into the novel. He's crafty like that. Can't wait to go back and find out more of what's going on with your characters.