Day 25- 42,062 Words

It's about time that I think about wrapping this shit up.  Only 8,000 words to go!  I can't believe I've made it this far.  I can't wait to be done, but I'm also getting to the point where I'm enjoying my novel.  Once things derailed, my love for my book got back on track.  Here's the final confrontation between the Sons of Ipswich and Five For Fighting, as well as the beginning of the end of my fifth novel:

“This isn’t about you, Sons of Ipswich.”

“Oh I think it is.”

“Ducks fly together.”

“They also die together.”

And with that a full-on war erupted, with Penny Lane and Alejandro caught up in the middle.  Five For Fighting tried to rush the Sons of Ipswich and jersey them, only to find that because they weren’t wearing shirts they couldn’t pull them over their heads.  The Sons of Ipswich were casting spells left and right, causing the members of Five For Fighting to start moving in a very strange manner indeed.  They started with a Charleston of sorts, but it was strangely robotic.  Their arms and chests were also doing a rhythmic shimmy.  Suddenly dozens of sticks of deodorant that had been on sale at Honest Ed’s for $2.99 flew off of the shelves and into the hands of Five For Fighting.  In addition to performing a robotic shimmy accompanied by the Charleston against their wills, they were now applying deodorant as well.  The room did smell a little better after that, and even better, Five For Fighting suddenly seemed like the least threatening group of men assembled. 

“They shouldn’t bother you anymore,” the blonde one said to Penny Lane, winking. 

“Are you sure?  Bieber looks one part furious, the other part considering this dance for his next tour,” Alejandro responded sceptically. 

“Just, lay low for a couple of days,” the leader of the witch pack told them, motioning to them that they needed to get out of there immediately, if not sooner. 

They ran out of Honest Ed’s, back down Spadina into their haven of Jackie’s Place.  By the time that they arrived at Jackie’s Place they were pretty winded.  Jackie wordlessly motioned towards a darkened booth in the corner, indicating that they should take their seats in the booth that was festooned with pictures of Chris Kirkpatrick.  Alejandro’s mouth opened with shock; he had never seen anyone sit in that booth.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  A man who had been wearing a blue tank top (a tank top!?!) with a white triangle pattern and white trim, paired with grey sweatpants that were more tailored and fitted than any sweatpants Alejandro had ever seen before (and this was saying something, as at one point in his life, Alejandro had considered himself something of a sweatpants aficionado), and a pair of bright white sneakers that were obviously just out of the box had ill-advisedly taken a seat in the Chris Kirkpatrick booth in order to give an impromptu lecture on his doc-TOR-al dissertation.  Needless to say the man had left the bar with a urine-soaked sock stuck up his nose, serving as a warning to anyone foolish enough to consider sitting in that booth.  Jackie soon came over and placed two dirty mugs of greasy coffee on the table, each with a smack of ham and Red Bull.  That Jackie, he always knew that you needed before you knew it yourself. 

“I’m going to call my father and tell him that I love him,” Penny Lane finally said, after her mind was no longer completely paralyzed with fear so that she could begin to form words again.

“I thought that you didn’t talk to your father,” Alejandro said suspiciously. 

Fuck.  How many times was this going to happen to Penny Lane before she would finally get it?

“What better time than now?”

That was a pretty easy save.  She was getting good.  She smiled to herself.

Out of nowhere, the spoken word Rihanna tribute music that Jackie had always been so fond of was replaced by some soft music that began playing throughout Jackie’s Place.  Penny Lane immediately recognized the song as “I Thought She Knew,” one of ‘N Sync’s less known songs.  Chris Kirkpatrick’s high-pitched voice surrounded them, making their hearts feel lighter. 

“She was my once in a lifetime.  Happy ending come true.  Oh I guess I should have told her, but I thought she knew.  I thought she knew,” Justin Timberlake’s angelic voice lamented, supported by his glorified back-up singers.

Kirkpatrick’s vocal risks seemed to have emboldened a nervous Alejandro.  Jackie smiled to himself from behind the bar, but only for a second.

“Well, now that you mention doing things that we are afraid of,” Alejandro began, turning to face her.  “I’ve wanted to do this for the longest time.”

He moved towards her like they were opposite poles on magnets; giving into it felt natural, like she could stop resisting something that she should have done a long time ago.  Their lips met for the first time, but it somehow felt as if they were old friends.  Penny Lane’s heart was doing somersaults, and her head was jumping up and down and squealing.  The feeling that the world was perfect was washing over her, and she never wanted it to end.

Of course, the world just isn’t like that.  Just as Emilio Estevez films need to end, so do perfect moments.  Her phone starting ringing urgently, breaking apart their kiss.  Penny Lane considered throwing her phone across the room, but since it was Ellie’s phone, she knew that throwing it just wouldn’t do.

“Hello?” she finally said, hating whoever was going to be on the other end.

“It’s Jake.  I’m going to make this short, since we’re up to our asses here in the shitstorm that has emerged with the shock engagement of Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger. I have to dedicate at least one entire article to educating the unwashed masses about the correct pronunciation of the rock legend’s name, and the prime minister has asked us to run a full page photograph of the Canadian homegrown supergroup receiving the Order of Canada, accompanied by a pleading note to name him as Best Man at what is sure to be the wedding of the year, if not the decade (yes I am including the Royal Wedding in this assessment).  I want you to get out of town until this whole Five For Fighting clusterfuck dies down, so I’m sending you to Montreal to cover the Leafs’ first game of the season.  I don’t want you to see this as rewarding you for being a fucking moron so much as me denying Freddie Prince Senior the opportunity to go.  I mean, come on.  No one is taking you seriously with that name, you asshole.”

And with that, Jake unceremoniously hung up.

So this was how it was going to end, Penny Lane thought to herself.  This was how her life in Toronto ended.  All that was left to do was switch places with Ellie, and get back to her old life.  Her heart that had been doing somersaults moments ago was now tumbling down into her stomach.