Day 19-- Back on Track With 32,000 Words

I'm finally caught up-- I passed 32,000 words. When does it start to feel like the end is near? Probably around 40,000? Man, I can't wait until then!

Chloe decided to try to sneak into the Buns of Steel bakery. When she was standing in the back parking lot, she ran into Cole--don't you remember him? He is apparently an accountant, and was just arriving at Buns of Steel do balance their books. This works out well for Chloe, as it gives her an opportunity to sneak in much easier.


“Speaking of sticking with you,” she said, considering applying some lip gloss but remembering how disastrous it was the last time that she had tried to do that seductively, “is there any chance that this accounting visit can become a two person job?”

“You’re that interested in becoming an accountant, are you?” he grinned.

“I want to see if it is as glamourous as I imagine.”

“You imagine it’s glamourous?” he laughed. “I think the only imagining you’re doing is of yourself eating cronuts. You’re just trying to skip the line,” he looked at her triumphantly, thinking that he knew her secret.

“You caught me,” she said in what was probably an exaggerated voice. She would continue to let him think that she just wanted to see how the cronuts were made. Well, in large part she did, but she also needed to look around. “Please,” she said, trying to give him her sweetest smile. She brought her hands together pleadingly, and didn’t break eye contact.

“You happen to be in luck,” he sighed. “My co-worker, who happens to be incredibly dull and old, is sick today.”

“That is lucky for me. How did you know how much I love it when old people fall ill?”

“i meant that we can pretend that you’re him,” he chuckled.

“I left my old man costume at home,” Chloe feigned disappointment. “But if you give me a second I can go buy some hard candies to distribute to all of the nice young men in there.”

“I think you’ll be fine just the way you are,” he said. “Although I’m not sure why you’re wearing so much black.”

“Um, don’t worry about it,” she said as she followed him through the back door of Buns of Steel.

If Chloe had given much thought as to what the kitchen of Buns of Steel might look like, it would not have come even moderately close to reality. She might have imagined shirtless men in aprons dancing to Top 40 music as they mixed batter. There might be a chalk board tally of days since last fryer injury, since frying things and wearing little clothing really, really, don’t mix. Overall, she would have pictured it as being very much like a scene from the hit supernatural thriller The Covenant, but perhaps with less witchcraft and fewer women since it did not appear that any women worked at Buns of Steel. Unfortunately, the scene was far from this description. Instead, it was unsexy chaos (as opposed to sexy chaos).

A large mirror that took up the whole wall was set up on the left, which made a lot of sense to Chloe; if she looked as beautiful as they did, she would want to look at herself in the mirror all day as well. Dallas, the man who appeared to have been the ringleader and who had previously been wearing leather chaps, was deep in concentration in front of the mirror. His leather pants and leather chaps had been replaced with some spandex booty shorts that were tighter and shorter than she could have ever imagined previously. He had smartly paired the black booty shorts with a yellow spandex belly top. Dallas was staring at himself in the mirror, thrusting his hips forward powerfully. Any human with eyes could see that he was quite good at it, but it was less clear why he was doing so. Chloe and Cole exchanged looks as they tried to hide their simultaneous laughter and magnetic attraction to Dallas.

Even stranger, the kitchen appeared to be decorated with Trisha Romance paintings. For those who are lucky enough to be unfamiliar with her work, Romance's work commonly features domestic settings, family events, and holiday scenes. Often depicted are “ideal[s] in family life,” reminiscent of artists in the American Scene Painting tradition. Chloe often felt as if she was alone in her distaste for Romance. In 2010, Romance proposed to create “The Romance Inn” in Niagara-On-The-Lake. The project is imagined as an inn where “guests may explore their creative talents and be inspired by their own creations.” It is to be built on the grounds of the former Randwood estate and would include a 100-room lodging facility and restaurant, as well as a cultural center with studio space available. The proposal, which, as of 2011, is still in the planning stages, has met with some opposition from Chloe, who mounted a letter writing campaign despite not even being a resident of Niagara-On-The-Lake. Not only did she find Trisha Romance’s work to be unimaginative and annoying at best, but Chloe had also been hoping that the Randwood Estate would be the site for Austenland, a theme park that she wanted to come to fruition after having seen the movie of the same title starring Keri Russell. Instead, Austenland was set up in the much maligned farming community of Blackwood, Ontario. The previously unheard of small town had recently come under scrutiny when it was revealed that it was mandatory for all residents to have a tattoo of either Justin Bieber’s face or a Justin Bieber lyric on their person. The world was even more in an uproar when it was revealed that all lyrics must be tattooed in the font comic sans, which is perhaps even more maligned than Blackwood itself. When a seven year old boy was photographed showing off his tattoo that read “Ooh, you know females and how they like to run their mouths,” Blackwood knew that they had to do something drastic to improve their reputation. Having a reputation was strange for Blackwood, since no one had heard of them previously. After a fiery town hall meeting, it was decided that Jane Seymour would be brought in to run Austenland, as Colin Firth declined due to a previous commitment.

The strange thing about the kitchen of Buns of Steel was that it didn’t really seem to be used as a kitchen at all. The purpose of the stand mixers appeared to be limited to acting as drying racks for the various items of “clothing” (and I am using the word clothing loosely). The long metal tables were not covered with pastries or baking tins ready to go in the oven; they seemed to be used only for dance parties. The wooden spoons that should have been mixing batter were instead used as pretend microphones while the shirtless employees wearing aprons belted out the lyrics to the songs that were coming out of the small radio that had been set up. Needless to say, not a whole lot of baking was happening here. But then how were they running bakery? How had they not been shut down by a health inspector? How had someone not injured themselves yet while dancing on one of the metal prep tables? Chloe looked turned around and around looking confused, trying to find answers to all of the questions that were multiplying in her head.