With three days left, I think my novel is finally coming together. There will be some loose ends, I'm sure, but I will just attribute it to me being like Raymond Chandler. I am really looking forward to the wrap party that Heather and I have scheduled for Saturday night! Finishing our novels together will be quite the celebration.
This excerpt is probably much more revealing than it should be, but who cares. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I want to give all three of my readers something to read! Chloe and Cole are at the library researching Buns of Steel and the cryptic mention of Quebec that they overheard at the bakery.
“It turns out that the mention of St Louis de Blandford was quite telling,” Chloe said.
“Oh?”
“Oh. I thought that I recognized the name of the place, and I was right. It is a small town in Quebec that is quite famous, or should I say, infamous.”
“You’re quite the storyteller.”
“I know. Did you hear about the maple syrup heist that happened last year?”
“Did I? Every American I know won’t let me live it down that in Canada our crime is organized around maple syrup.”
“Americans really are the worst.”
“Agreed.”
“Anyway, last year over ten million pounds of maple syrup was stolen from a warehouse in St Louis de Blandford, where it was being held temporarily. That kind of quantity is worth about thirty million dollars. It’s been dubbed the Great Maple Syrup Caper by the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, Quebecois maple syrup fans, and fans of humour from all around the globe.”
“Sounds appropriate,” Cole agreed.
“The Great Maple Syrup Caper caused shockwaves in the maple syrup community,” Chloe said emphatically. “Needless to say, that is a huge quantity of maple syrup, and since Quebec produces seventy to eighty percent of all of the maple syrup in the world, there were serious concerns of a shortage.”
“A shortage!” Cole said in horror. “How would I prepare my signature Maple Leaf cocktail, which contains two shots of bourbon, half a shot of maple syrup, and half a shot of lemon juice?”
“I guess that you would have to get another signature cocktail, or you would have to switch to Aunt Jemima.”
“Well thank god that didn’t come to pass. I don’t support racist brands.”
“That’s good to hear,” Chloe said approvingly. “But luckily, there wasn’t a shortage. Although the legitimate maple syrup sellers were pretty concerned, since they were going to be competing with sellers who didn’t actually pay for the maple syrup. The syrup is out there, and there is no way to tell if it is heist syrup or not. A small but powerful social movement emerged, started by people who were looking for a cause but thought that blood diamonds were too popular. They started a campaign to raise awareness about the maple syrup heist, encouraging people not to buy any maple syrup because there is no way to tell if it was procured ethically.”
“That sounds stupid.”
“Yes, it does. They really pissed off the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers.”
“Well obviously.”
“Luckily the movement was short lived, and the maple syrup industry recovered. But the case remains unsolved—no one knows who stole all that maple syrup, or how they did it.”
“How do you steal ten million pounds of maple syrup from a warehouse without anyone noticing?”
“Stranger things have happened. Did you hear about all of those vanishing sharks in that Vancouver aquarium last August?”
“No.”
“I’m not surprised. They tried to keep it a secret because it was so embarrassing. I mean, really. It is so hard to move a shark. They were really out to lunch on that one.”
“Do you think there’s a connection?”
“No, I’m just am really baffled by how that many sharks can possibly go missing.”
“Fair enough.”
We are all so close! Except for Indigo :(
This excerpt is probably much more revealing than it should be, but who cares. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I want to give all three of my readers something to read! Chloe and Cole are at the library researching Buns of Steel and the cryptic mention of Quebec that they overheard at the bakery.
“It turns out that the mention of St Louis de Blandford was quite telling,” Chloe said.
“Oh?”
“Oh. I thought that I recognized the name of the place, and I was right. It is a small town in Quebec that is quite famous, or should I say, infamous.”
“You’re quite the storyteller.”
“I know. Did you hear about the maple syrup heist that happened last year?”
“Did I? Every American I know won’t let me live it down that in Canada our crime is organized around maple syrup.”
“Americans really are the worst.”
“Agreed.”
“Anyway, last year over ten million pounds of maple syrup was stolen from a warehouse in St Louis de Blandford, where it was being held temporarily. That kind of quantity is worth about thirty million dollars. It’s been dubbed the Great Maple Syrup Caper by the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, Quebecois maple syrup fans, and fans of humour from all around the globe.”
“Sounds appropriate,” Cole agreed.
“The Great Maple Syrup Caper caused shockwaves in the maple syrup community,” Chloe said emphatically. “Needless to say, that is a huge quantity of maple syrup, and since Quebec produces seventy to eighty percent of all of the maple syrup in the world, there were serious concerns of a shortage.”
“A shortage!” Cole said in horror. “How would I prepare my signature Maple Leaf cocktail, which contains two shots of bourbon, half a shot of maple syrup, and half a shot of lemon juice?”
“I guess that you would have to get another signature cocktail, or you would have to switch to Aunt Jemima.”
“Well thank god that didn’t come to pass. I don’t support racist brands.”
“That’s good to hear,” Chloe said approvingly. “But luckily, there wasn’t a shortage. Although the legitimate maple syrup sellers were pretty concerned, since they were going to be competing with sellers who didn’t actually pay for the maple syrup. The syrup is out there, and there is no way to tell if it is heist syrup or not. A small but powerful social movement emerged, started by people who were looking for a cause but thought that blood diamonds were too popular. They started a campaign to raise awareness about the maple syrup heist, encouraging people not to buy any maple syrup because there is no way to tell if it was procured ethically.”
“That sounds stupid.”
“Yes, it does. They really pissed off the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers.”
“Well obviously.”
“Luckily the movement was short lived, and the maple syrup industry recovered. But the case remains unsolved—no one knows who stole all that maple syrup, or how they did it.”
“How do you steal ten million pounds of maple syrup from a warehouse without anyone noticing?”
“Stranger things have happened. Did you hear about all of those vanishing sharks in that Vancouver aquarium last August?”
“No.”
“I’m not surprised. They tried to keep it a secret because it was so embarrassing. I mean, really. It is so hard to move a shark. They were really out to lunch on that one.”
“Do you think there’s a connection?”
“No, I’m just am really baffled by how that many sharks can possibly go missing.”
“Fair enough.”
We are all so close! Except for Indigo :(
I absolutely loved this! I know, I keep saying that about all your excerpts, but it's true. I especially loved your social movement who thought blood diamonds was too popular of a cause. Hahahahahaha. "They started a campaign to raise awareness about the maple syrup heist, encouraging people not to buy any maple syrup because there is no way to tell if it was procured ethically.” Sounds like the stupid things people would do!
ReplyDeleteThen I was delighted when the vanishing sharks came into the story. And as always, your characters are so funny! I love reading their dialogue.
Agreed with Indigo on this. This excerpt is so funny. I, too, loved the reference to the Maple Syrup Heist movement... it is not only possible, but plausible. We are so close!
ReplyDeleteToo bad that Indigo and Jill got here before me, because now I just sound repetitive when I also say that I loved the Maple Syrup Heist movement part. Sorry I don't have anything more interesting to add!
ReplyDelete